Much is made in educational circles these days about social-emotional learning and intelligence (SEL). Schools everywhere are scrambling to address the social and emotional needs of youth, developing and implementing curriculums, and creating policies. The workplace is also getting on board as more and more businesses are realizing that the key to a successfully run organization is having employees who can solve problems independently and possess solid interpersonal skills.

I think schools, however, get a bad rap. Increasingly, they are asked to do more with less. Everyone wants our students to learn theycam.  Educators are faced with the awesome and daunting task of providing them with the skills for success. There is a lot of emphasis on what we need to teach but very little on how to do it. How do you engage, inspire and lead students through the maze of stuff that is thrown at them and help them make sense of it? How do you help them retain what is important?

Developing effective social-emotional skills is the bedrock of learning. They are not, however, skills that you teach. They are actually learned over time through experience.

Learning is always a choice. Students are not passive receptacles we pour information into. They are active participants who come to us with all of their hopes, dreams, ambitions, and fears. They already have in their possession the greatest tool on the planet- the human mind. Its job is to solve problems. The better we get at problem-solving. the better we get at adapting and developing the resilience to overcome obstacles. So how do we set up contexts where students can learn how to use this tool and apply it to their lives?

When it comes to SEL, instead of teaching it, we can build it by validating the experience of the learner. Simply put, we can start by asking them who is important to them. We can also ask, “What brings you here?” ( otherwise known as what is important to you). Being social means being interested in others so what better place to begin than asking about the lived experience of their lives. This also includes whatever they see as obstacles. They could be tired, hungry, frustrated, etc. This is addressing what may be going on inside of them.

A few simple, respectful questions set the stage for SEL. Asking these questions puts them in touch with their social and emotional world. Asking about what they do to move toward the people and things in their lives as well as what they perceive as standing in their way builds awareness. Curriculums and policies can’t do that. People can.

It turns out that the more “aware” or some would say “mindful” of our actions and experiences, the better we get at coming up with solutions for whatever issues we face. I refer to awareness as “noticing” since it is easy and natural. What is needed when we are young is someone, like a teacher or trusted other, to ask us about these questions to get the noticing going, until we learn how to do it on our own. We can do the asking and the students do the noticing. We build social-emotional intelligence through teh experience of mastering ourselves in the problems that come our way, academic, social or otherwise.

If you want to know more, go to evolvingsolutions.co for my free training.

The ACT Matrix will be on the road at the New Jersey Principals and Supervisors conference center in Monroe, NJ. The dates are November 4th and December 12th from 9 AM to1 PM

This is an immersive, two-day workshop for developing healthy classrooms with less stress and greater flexibility. Participants will train with the ACT Matrix to engage all students toward achievement with fewer discipline issues, better attendance, self-control, interpersonal skills, and problem-solving. Ideal for teachers, counselors, specialists, and administrators. Here is the link to learn more and register: ACT Matrix Workshop

October 10 is World Mental Health Day. According to the World Federation for Mental Health, it is a day to “celebrate awareness for the global community in an empathetic way, with a unifying voice, helping those feel hopeful by empowering them to take action and to create lasting change.”

My contribution to the cause is to use and show people the ACT Matrix so they can promote their own mental health and show it to others. 

To do that, you can do the mental health loop.

Draw this diagram, otherwise known as the ACT Matrix.

Ask yourself, “Who is important to me?” Recall your important people and jot them down in the lower right. Next ask, “What kinds of yucky stuff (like fear and anger) shows up inside of me and gets in the way of what I want to be doing?”. Jot that down in the lower left. Now ask yourself, “well, what do I do to get away from that yucky stuff that I don’t want to have?” ( scrolling on facebook is a great move to get away from stress ). Finally, ask yourself, ” What can I do to keep moving toward who is important to me?” ( call a loved one, visit a friend, etc.).

You have just done a mental health loop and you have flexed yourself up a bit. The more you do it, the more you notice. The more you notice, the more you can use what you have to get you where you want to go. You may also come up with something new.

Bonus points if you show it to someone else!

Here is a video where I walk you through the mental health loop.

It has finally arrived, the way it always does. We turn the calendar page and there it is… 

Back to School!

Three words that can induce both excitement and fear in educators and students alike.

182 days over the next 9-10 months invested in learning and working to make a difference. What do we want students to learn? How do we make school real, relevant and rewarding?

We ignore these questions at our peril. Whether we admit it or not, educators are in the business of influencing.  How do we set things up to make school real, relevant and rewarding? There are many ways to influence. In my most recent webinar, I present a simple and easy way to get you started.

Check it out by clicking below.