I work with many students who find themselves in difficult situations. Each one has unique and challenging learning and behavioral issues.

They can be struggling in kindergarten, melting down in middle school or losing steam in high school. They appear frustrated, discouraged, disconnected or disengaged. Many have felt like giving up, lashing out or throwing in the towel.

The teachers of these students work very hard to meet their learning, social and emotional needs. They are dedicated and invested. Doing this kind of work is rewarding, challenging and emotionally draining. While working to make a difference, the staff can feel just as upset as their students.

Helping out can get pretty heavy.

What students and teachers need is a way to help them work together to overcome obstacles and take on the challenge of learning academic skills, developing themselves, and being all they can be. It takes time, patience and lots of compassion on behalf of teachers, specialists and others. There are no quick fixes and change occurs over days, weeks and sometimes years.

To help everyone move toward effective teaching and learning, I have developed a dynamic approach that allows everyone to move forward. I teach everyone in the classroom how to increase satisfaction and decrease stress. You probably have not heard anything about it yet; but learning how to harness this process will give you and those you serve a happier, healthier, and more collaborative classroom.

My mission is to help everyone in schools learn to act with something known as psychological flexibility.

Psychological flexibility is the ability to “notice” what you are doing, to be aware of what is showing up inside of you, and choosing what works to get you where you want to go, even in the presence of obstacles. The term was coined by Dr. Steve Hayes and colleagues to denote an evidenced-based process that seeks to increase valued living while reducing suffering ( see reference at the end of this article )

Current research (see Kashdan and Rottenberg reference below) supports promoting psychological flexibility for a wide variety of behavioral issues that extends to the classroom and beyond. It is the cornerstone of mental health.

When we “notice” something, we become aware of it “in-the-moment.” Awareness of what we are doing leads to having choices about how to respond or make necessary changes. Each day we experience unwelcome challenges that show up outside of us as difficult situations like flat tires, conflicts with others, and not enough time and resources to accomplish what we want. Then some challenges come from inside of us by way of unwanted thoughts, feelings, moods, and urges. All of these things can bog us down and make things more difficult.

The same holds for students and especially those that experience a lot of stress and discomfort when it comes to school and learning.

Students that struggle socially and emotionally are less psychologically flexible. They spend a lot of time dealing with uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and urges and are easily overwhelmed and frustrated. They have less energy to do what matters to them like making friends and being successful in school ( they all do want these things by the way, even if they say otherwise ). They get stuck in their thinking and pay less attention to what is going on around them. When this happens, they get stuck in their actions as well and end up with fewer choices.

The way out of being stuck is to use some psychological flexibility. A student can “notice” the feelings of boredom, anxiety or frustration that may be showing up inside of her or him. Noticing allows them to self-monitor and remain in control instead of getting caught up in worry, anger or frustration.  Instead of shutting down or acting out, they can “notice” and then choose to continue working, ask for help, or take a deep breath. They get better at noticing how it feels when they work through a difficult problem, participate more in class or help a fellow student.

Using psychological flexibility over time allows them to learn the skill of doing all types of extraordinary things while experiencing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.  Students are empowered to take on more challenges, try out new behaviors and become more connected to the world around them. They feel satisfied and have a practical problem-solving tool they can use anytime.

When students practice the skill of awareness-in-the-moment, they learn how to manage painful emotions. They can “notice” and accept them as they are. They feel better about themselves and see more possibilities instead of roadblocks.

Psychological flexibility is a skill that can be used in any setting. It merely takes a little time and practice. The teachers I work with use it every day in the classroom with all of their students, even the most challenging ones. The students learn how to manage themselves, get along better and have some fun. An additional benefit for teachers and other professionals is that using psychological flexibility helps them be more effective and connected with their students while experiencing less stress.

Everybody wins, and they have a good time doing it. Flexible classrooms develop a shared purpose while allowing for diversity and individual experience.

If you want to know more about how you can apply psychological flexibility and increase your effectiveness, I invite you to visit my website, Evolving Solutions. I have a series of free training videos that will show you how to encourage, connect and collaborate with students for powerful social and emotional learning. You can access them here.

Hayes, Steven C.; Strosahl, Kirk D.; Wilson, Kelly G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2 ed.). New York: Guilford Press. p. 240. 

Kashdan, T., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health, Clinical Psychology Review, 30 (7), 865-878 DOI: 10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001

Comments and questions are welcome.

Contact info: philtenaglia@evolvingsolutions.co

My training website: evolvingsolutions.co